How to Apologize:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on
you, live at peace with everyone.” Rom. 12:18
I’ve asked to talk with (or write to) you because I’ve been attending a program called Freedom Session where I’ve been encouraged to take responsibility for my own life and the hurt I’ve caused others. You are one of the people God has shown me I need to make amends to.
Confession:
I want you to know that when I _________ (describe what you did and possibly when it happened), I deeply hurt you and that was wrong. I was wrong and had no right to do that to you.
Apology:
I realize what I am saying now cannot undo what I’ve done or remove the hurt I’ve caused. Nonetheless, I do want you to know and hear me say that I am deeply sorry for hurting you personally, and how this has or may have affected your life and those you love.
Optional inclusions if appropriate {when in doubt seek counsel} Using either of these would suggest you are in or have been in some sort of meaningful and trusting relationship with them. § Some day, if you would think it a good idea, I would be very open to talk about all the dynamics and possible reasons for what happened, but right now what is most important to me is to tell you I am deeply sorry! § To be honest with you, I am inwardly wanting to ask you to forgive me. But in thinking this through it appears to me that it is unfair to ask that of you right now. I can see you may need time to think about this and process all the hurt I’ve caused you. Right now, what’s most important to me is that you hear I am deeply sorry!
Responsibility:
I have no excuse why I hurt you as I did. You didn’t deserve that. What I do know is that my prideful/selfish/co-dependent/etc. {identify Defects of Character from pages 124-125 that were operating in your life} behaviors were influencing me rather than love or concern for you. Again, I am sorry.
Desire to make things right: And lastly, I want you to know that, to the best of my ability and with God’s help, I intend to ______________________________________
